I have fat feet.

I have obviously not been as careful with the sun as I should have been. My feet are red and a little swollen. My forearms are quite red too. My white body was clearly not made for this kind of climate.

I very much hope that my status of Travelling Companion has been earned so far. I have been telling jokes and tall tales, embarrassing stories and amusing anecdotes. Sometimes, when the conversation has been zipping along I have taken a back seat and let the others take the helm. The role of raconteur and bon-viveur is not one that I find easy, but if someone is prepared to pay for my holiday, it's certainly one that I can work at. Although I am picking up the odd bar tab, RT has been as good as his word and is paying for practically everything.

It is still hot and windy here. Isla Margarita may not be endowed with the most tourist-worthy history, but there are certainly demi-gods of windsurfing here. To watch some of these people in action is to observe another species. Idiots like me have to fight the sail every step of the way, wrestling with the huge forces at play. The heros here toy with their equipment and the very elements as though waving their hands at a particularly ineffective fly.

The two girls are still sharing the occasional drink with us. They are very sweet and make a lovely couple. Dtm has recovered somewhat after his foot was bitten by a crab. RT is doing too much work for someone who is on holiday, but then that's the curse of running your own company I guess. It's fair to say he's doing more windsurfing than me as I can't stay out in the heat of the midday sun, so he can't be accused of being a total nerd.

For my part, this whole thing still seems somewhat surreal. Four more days here, the flight home, and then my role as travelling companion is done. It will be a weird transition back to ordinary life. Until then, Pina-Colada's all round...

RT brought his laptop so I am sitting at one of the beach-side cafe-bars 20 metres from the water watching the hundreds of sails out on the water. The sun is shining and there is a stiff force 5 blowing dead across the beach, just as it has done on the previous two days. It seems to start out at F4 in the morning with lots of holes in it and then fills in gradually to a more consistent F5 in the afternoon. This is the third day. I was out this morning but am taking the afternoon off to give my hands a chance to heal; they are a bit shredded in spite of gloves. I even resorted to sticking strips of Duck Tape over the worst affected bits of my fingers but even that didn't last long.

My "Hero Rating" is sadly very low at present. It works on a scale of 1 to 10 and is entirely self-administered so that ones score represents success against ones own expectations. On day one I figured that my score was about 1. Yesterday I did some better gybes but only enough to boost my score to 1.5. In this morning's session I was falling in so consistently on the gybes that I decided I might as well fall in attempting something a little more spectacular, therefore I made three attempts at the duck gybe, none successful. I adjudged that those efforts were sufficiently well intentioned to offset the poor performance, so my Hero Rating has crept up to 1.75.

I don't know whether to be despondent about the situation. There are about half a dozen sailors here of world-class standard who are chucking in freestyle manoevers that I can't name, let alone attempt, in addition to loops, barrel rolls and bizwi-doodahs. I suppose they are inspirational to watch, but only with the certain knowledge that it is FAR, FAR TOO LATE for me. :-)

I will take it easy this afternoon and avoid drinking too much (something RT, Dtm and I did last night). I cunningly found the only two girls here without accompanying men and we befriended them, only to discover that the reason they have no men is that they have each other! Oh well, they are very sweet and seem genuinely keen to hang out with us. I felt that finding friends was part of my role as "travelling companion" to RT since he's paying for this.

Somehow in the haze of alcohol last night, I voluteered to play in a game of Rugby on the beach at 5pm today. It seems it has been postponed, but I may still have to play. I will be unfit, hopeless and will almost certainly get hurt, especially as I agreed to make up the numbers on the French team, something which the Brits here are sure to want to give me cause to regret.

Cheers for now...

After what seemed like a journey of a week or more, we finally arrived in the resort of El Yaque on the island of Margarita!

I have just come off the water after the first day windsurfing. RT and I did about 4.5 hours with a short break in the middle and had a late lunch. RT went back to try and cram in another hour or so before the final whistle but I thought it was enough for day 1. Dtm did took lesson this morning because he is a beginner.

Our apartment is simple but functional. We have to share it with the odd cockroach of course, being in this kind of climate. I have had 2 showers but didn´t manage to make either even remotely warm. Dtm says his showers have been tepid too. I suppose in this weather it´s OK.

The resort is a very 3rd world ramshackle of buildings along an otherwise uninhabited stretch of coastline. There´s a bit of building work going on at the end on another hotel. These hotels are not BIG things. The scenery around the area is very dusty, dry scrubland with spikey planys, grasses and cacti.

From the beach, the whole affair looks rather more tolerable with a jumble of palm-leaf topped bars and hacienda-style restaurants packed in amongst the winsurfing centres. By lunchtime, the sea looks busy with dynamic types whizzing about and popping all sorts of weird maneovers that I can´t even name, much less perform.

I must go now. My cybercaf vouchers are expiring, but most importantly I must play the part of travelling companion!

More blogging from Venezuela soon!

Breathless! Tired!

Got in late last night after beer and curry with the guys who used to work for me. They're a good lot and I'm sorry that I couldn't make it all work for us. It all fell apart a year ago and this was a one-year after reunion. Thanks for all your hard work lads.

Today I've been looking after the kids all day as D helps out with the school PTA roller-disco. Argh how I love them all. I wish when they say "Dad...can we get that please?" and "Oh, but Dad, I really want to collect those! Katy at school does and SHE's practically got them all now," I could just reach into my pocket and get it all. All that stuff their eyes shine for.

Countdown to windsurfing holiday is about 58 hours! Fecken-feck! I can still hardly believe it. Everyone is incredulous that I'm getting a freebie and I guess they should be. What they don't know is that I was the shoulder that Rt used to cry on when he was in love and struggling with a relationship. He was convinced she was the one he was going to marry. Maybe I was a good listener, but I'm sure I didn't do enough to earn this, a free 2 week holiday!?!

Pschaw! Sun, sand, wind and good kit! The adrenaline rush as the power of the elements propells you at 35 MPH, arms burning with the force of the rig, the nose of the board skittering off the wavetops, the mournful whoo-whooing of the wind blowing through the holes in the wishbone and the crashing, salty nasal-douche of a high-speed wipeout! Damn-it, I can hardly sleep from the wonder and excitment of it.

Geez! Take a look at this e-mail I got today from an old friend who I have kept in touch with but seen only about 3 times in the last 8 years! And I'm not making this up, I promise...

"How ya doing. Long time no speak/email.

There's a possibility that I'll book a last-minute holiday to Isla Margarita, El Yaque tomorrow or Friday to depart this weekend. It would be for 2 weeks with lots of windsurfing and a trip to see Angel Falls and maybe some other stuff on the mainland. I'm planning to ask Dtm if he would be up for going but haven't got through to him yet.

If this was on, would you be up for coming / could you spare the time - all expenses paid?"

According to my philosophy "Make the Most", I should snap it up, but how fair is that, to abandon the family for two weeks of holiday that I should share with them?

If you don't hear from me for a couple of weeks, you'll know why!!

First off, I would like to apologise unreservedly to Moondancer who I booted off my list of blog pals. It seems Moondancer is active and I must therefore assume that it is the content of my blog which is to blame.

That out of the way...my plans for this year are in a state of mixed progress. The secret is out about the trip to Venice, but in fact, it's probably just as well. D can enjoy planning the things we want to go and see.

The plan to organise a skiing holiday for my family in 2007 is progressing, but I need to sell the TVR to fund it and that's not happening just yet. Someone was coming to see it this morning but they didn't show, and didn't phone to let me know...scum. I sent him a txt-flame and he phoned me back 5 minutes later with an apology and promises to come and see it next weekend! I don't think I'll hold my breath.

I have bid for a sail on eBay as my windsurfing quiver consists of only 2 sails which doesn't cover a good range of wind strenghts. The plan to go windsurfing more this year is in hand. Just need the weather to warm up a notch or two. Brrr!

Out of the blue an intersting job opportunity has come up in a way which shows just how important it is to keep in touch with as many people as possible! It is less money, but it is local which would reduce my daily commute from 3 hours a day to 40 minutes of strolling! More on that later in the week.

As for my alter-ego Penny, it looks as if I will get a night out in my female guise before too long. April 22nd. Hurray! Cannot go the whole hog though as summer is approaching and I need my legs hairy. Thick tights or jeans will have to act as cover.

Moondancer is gone. I have booted him out. He is like a plague upon our blogs. I have just checked his profile. He has 352 'friends', 14 blogs and a bzillion tags (all of which he has added himself I suspect).

Rise up my fellow authors and cast him out! If he has left any comment on your site in the last month, I apologise unreservedly and admit that it is the tedium of "Make the Most" that is to blame.

I have 16 blog-pals and struggle to get round their sites, but I make an effort. How could this be possible with 352?

Well it's difficult for a week to get more exciting after Monday's bowling and mad Russians!

It looks like my daughter is going to be responsible for me learning sheet music about 30 years after I first tried and gave it up as too boring! It's interesting how children can force you to raise your game. J is learning the violin and to encourage her, I am trying to play too. Well it's extraordinary, but actually, these little black squiggles aren't too hard to learn after all! DAMN, DAMN, DAMN! Why oh why didn't I just try a little harder when I was young?!?!

So now she wants me to play along on my guitar so that she can get the rhythm of it! Argh, so now I have to map her violin notes to my guitar, but you know what? It's actually not that hard. What IS hard is finding the time...especially when I waste such a lot of it on the ol' 'puter!

My eyesight improved enough tonight to allow me to go out with Kev and Otherphil for a few drinks and bowling in Crawley.

It's a sad thing, but one of mty two mantras is "I want more life fucker!", a line from Bladerunner. Tonight, I got what Roy Baty wanted...more life. I won both lanes in spite of my damaged eyesight and then, Kev and Otherphil went to shoot some pool while I chatted up Faye and Leanne, a couple of student nurses. Bless them, we were having a good chat when "Yuri" turned up, complete with Russian accent and a small flick-knife which he brandished at us.

Since my cancer scare, I have been very much less scared than I ever used to be, so I asked Yuri if he was a hard man. Leanne disappeared leaving Faye and me to fight the cold war. I tried to persuade Yuri that he would have more success with girls if he did not threaten them with knives. Yuri looked a lot like Robert Carlyle (Full Monty & Bond Villain). After holding Yuri at bay for a while, security arrived and Yuri took off, as fast as possible.

Kev and Otherphil were blissfully unaware of the developments, so I had to regale them with the whole story. They were sceptical, but I knew it happened and I helped keep those girls safe, so I'm happy.

Later, we saw Yuri at Dominos (he was too late). I pointed him out to the lads, but by then we were tucking into the pizza and heading for the train. Home time. Good-bye weirdo!

Hey! I just discovered I've reached 100 blogs, this being the 101st I guess. Now there's a trivial milestone.

I'm at home today skiving because I'm going to see the doc about my eye. Finally went for a bike ride with Commuter James yesterday. It was a good ride in cold, clear winter air with blue sky. Cycled through some lovely Sussex countryside, stopping on the way back for a pint in the Black Horse, a lovely, traditional country pub. When I got home, I had a shower and something splashed into my eye. I was in such agony, I actually roared with pain. It wasn't much better when I woke up (although not so bad that I can't tap out a few lines here), so D is going to drop me off at the saw-bones later.

Harple and Drills came for the weekend and it's great to see them all fired up about their new property! Their plans to buy a property in France aren't dead yet either.

Someone phoned about the TVR, but didn't come and see it. I may have to step up the sales effort a gear or two. It MUST sell so that I can pay for the family skiing holiday in 2007.