Cool answers to "What do you do?"

« Orlando - Reviewed | The River Thames »

Cool answers to "What do you do?"

by sleeper @ 27/08/2008 – 09:42:49

You're at a party and someone pops the perennial question: "So, what do you do?".

Of all the answers you should not give, "I'm in I.T." tops the list, no question. Since that is in fact my truthful answer, I'm always keen to find more appealing responses.

"I'm a fireman," surely has to be one of the best.

"I'm a fighter pilot," would probably be top but for a faint whiff of arrogance.

but my favourite, for a long time has been..."I'm a dendrochronologist." Mysterious, clever, research with a suggestion of tramping outdoors in remote places. See this article.

What top job do you have to confess to at parties, or what would you say if you wanted to impress?
Options:
Tags:
- parties
- banter.
- jobs

21 Comments to Cool answers to "What do you do?"

Hide subcomments

- technomist
- 27/08/2008 @ 09:57:29
I tend to find that the kind of person who needs to be lied to before they become my friend isn't the kind of person I want to know. I also find the reverse to be true: people on the whole don't like being lied to by strangers. Its not the best footing on which to begin a social interaction.
- - sleeper
  - 27/08/2008 @ 10:00:43
  You're quite right Technomist, but the post was only intended as a bit of fun.
  - - technomist
    - 27/08/2008 @ 10:29:10
    Sorry about that. I was just pausing and thinking as requested.
    - Reply to comment
    - Permalink
- cj592 ^Pro
- 27/08/2008 @ 09:58:41
This question, if answered honestly, always has the same result
Them: What do you do?
Me: I'm a Teacher
Them (interested): What subject?
Me: Maths
Them (awkward silence): Oh, I was never any good at maths at school

...
...
and more often than not it is followed by
"I have never used trigonometry ever since"
- - sleeper
  - 27/08/2008 @ 10:36:37
  So what answer do you think would elicit a good response and passionate discussion if not maths?
  
  Maths IS wonderful, but like your sample survey, I wasn't good at school and I put that down to being disinterested. Maths teachers righlty love their subject but fail to recognise that to draw people in, they need to provide real life examples of the wonderful things that maths can do. For example: plot the trajectory of multiple bodies in Newtonian space to put a lander on the Moon or Mars. Clean up a blurred image of a crime scene using Fourier Transforms and reveal the culprit, etc. etc.
  - - cj592 ^Pro
    - 27/08/2008 @ 11:10:39
    Funny you should mention space, because I once said that I was an astronaut.
    
    I think English always gets a great response.
    And being a mathematician I would want to put a λ on the μ'n
    - Reply to comment
    - Permalink
- deleted user (Visitor)
- 27/08/2008 @ 10:34:00
I was a lawyer in South Africa and it goes without saying men were wary of me the moment I said who I was by profession. They must've alraedy imagined me taking them to the cleaners once the "prospective" relationship was over
Now, when I say I teach, people tend to warm up to me immediately.
Fact is, I'm still the same old witch.
- - sleeper
  - 27/08/2008 @ 11:46:28
  Ha-ha! So teaching tops law. I wonder if there's a recognised hierarchy listed somewhere? Maybe that wonderful repository of knowledge that is Wikipedia?
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- trintrin1x
- 27/08/2008 @ 11:47:12
Idealy i would say Archeologist (probably spelt it wrong) but knowing my luck it would be some know it all that would have me stumped. I only ever made sleeping bags for the army but thats not very interesting x
- - sleeper
  - 27/08/2008 @ 11:56:20
  Archeologist sounds good to me too although like most jobs it probably has its fair share of drudgery and not very much bullwhip wielding!
  
  Currently then we've got:
  
  1) Astronaut
  2) Fireman
  3) Fighter pilot
  4) Archeologist
  5) English teacher
  6) Maths teacher
  7) Lawyer
  ...
  ...
  ...
  12078) I.T. worker.
  
  As you can probably tell, work is stalled for me today!
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- deleted user (Visitor)
- 28/08/2008 @ 07:43:45
Astronaut or pilot sounds cool... I don't think I would be able to fool someone though!
- Reply to comment
- Permalink
- Soulinthecity
- 28/08/2008 @ 12:16:09
Hi
One time I pretended to be an airline pilot for BA and was heartily congratulated for getting on in a man's world another time I pretended I was a sandwich lady describing my day starting at 5am collecting my stock for my office deliveries - this was the most disarming one!
My experience of eluding to doing different jobs than I actually did always ended up with me fessing up! (the only honourable thing to do - Integrity is high on my list!) I guess I was always a closet actress (unfulfilled childhood ambition) .......but all that was in my twenties I wouldn't feel a need to do that now.

I am more likely now to say I am the precious princess of the most High God!
- - sleeper
  - 28/08/2008 @ 14:23:19
  You see! It's just more fun to lie sometimes...as long as it's not malicious...and you fess up eventually.
  
  "Precious Princess of the most High God"! There are sooo many jobs I've just never heard about before. Where did you see the job add?
  - - Soulinthecity
    - 28/08/2008 @ 18:28:36
    Well that one was less of a job ad and more of a calling to fill my spirit with an amazing relationship with the one true living God!
    
    and the job description - Is love the lord your God with all your heart mind and soul and fulfill the great commission - which is binding up the broken hearted , heal the sick and set people free from whatever holds them from an intimate relationship with God the father through Jesus Christ!
    
    I am called to intercede for others and I am called to work in the marketplace for the good of the Kingdom of heaven. In a practical sense that is generating wealth to bless others in need and the ideas are all Gods(better that way because then I remain humble and I dont even need to be talented just obedient!) - so praise God! Glory all his!
    
    Arrg the interview tho ? was 4 years in the wilderness being tested to my absolute max and proved and stripped of all that I had so I could be inducted in a humble state of mind - and able to discern spirit from my earthly vessel - but so glad I paid the price!
    
    Rich Blessings
    - Reply to comment
    - Permalink
- nultygoestopartick
- 28/08/2008 @ 14:05:37
You are dead right. I have a nice we story about this that i am about to post. Check it out
- - sleeper
  - 28/08/2008 @ 14:23:50
  Will do.
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- Kibitz
- 31/08/2008 @ 18:37:22
I've never lied about my job ..

I simply change the subject ..

But I remember once at a party ..

I spent the night pretending to be Finnish.

Adam ... x

P.S.

But ... if I were to lie ..

To impress - Forensic Palaeontologist.

To escape - most probably - Gravedigger.
- Reply to comment
- Permalink
- deleted user (Visitor)
- 31/08/2008 @ 18:39:12
You answered everyones comments but mine! Should I take it personal?
- - sleeper
  - 31/08/2008 @ 21:11:58
  No, not at all! Sorry 'bout that. Although this post got quite busy, I've been mostly out of action for a while because I'm so busy at work and at home. Chalk it up to senility perhaps?
  
  Astronaut is a good suggestion. Tough to top someone who's been into space!
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- - sleeper
  - 31/08/2008 @ 21:13:30
  In fact, your comment is why I put astronaut in the list.
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- - Kibitz
  - 06/09/2008 @ 16:08:18
  Everyone’s but yours ?
  
  Mmmm ..
  
  I think you’ll find ..
  
  That honour’s now mine.
  
  Adam ... x
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink